[ When Jason eyes the rest of the chili dogs with hesitation, Bruce reaches out and pushes the container toward him. Have as many as you want, Jason. ]
Real good. [When the container is pushed toward him, Jason digs in and starts into his third chili dog.] Thanks for getting them. This isn't 'cause of anything in the letter, right?
[ He grabs a napkin to wipe at his fingers before lifting his drink to take a sip. He's only stalling a little bit. ]
It felt like a good welcome home.
[He's quiet again for a moment, trying to build up the courage to talk about this. He can take on all of Gotham, but when it comes to talking about feeling or emotions- he's a mess.]
...Alfred used to do the same for me. When I had difficult days... and nights. It seemed ridiculous- how could food be comforting, but- once he was no longer here I understood.
[ That's what he was afraid of. He sits back, looking away. ]
I see.
[He picks at the bandage around his hand, wondering if it would be too strange if he went back down to the cave. And then he wonders why it even matters if it's strange. He might not be able to maintain what he's trying hard to achieve right now, and he'll inevitably fail. He doesn't know how to be what Jason needs, especially in this state of mind.]
So you've already forgotten what we spoke about earlier.
[Jason shakes his head.] You can say 'I got you' all the times in the world, but if you push me away, I don't know what else I'm supposed to fucking do.
[He gets up from his seat, taking his lemonade with him.]
I spent more time on the streets than with you, Bruce. I don't know what else to say.
[So much for talking, for trying to hash things out, for opening up. Jason's pulling away, telling him he'll run away, and Bruce doesn't know if his words earlier had sunk in at all.]
Just know that I'm not the one pushing you away. If you want to leave, that's your decision. I already told you, I don't know if I can be better than this.
[ Bruce sits there, staring at the floor for a minute, then gets up and slowly starts cleaning up their food. He boxes up the leftovers and puts them in the refrigerator before he cleans up their garbage. He hates being up here so entirely now.
He wishes Alfred were here. He'd know what to say, what to do. He'd be able to help Jason. To take care of him.
He leans his hands against the counter and bows his head, squeezing his eyes shut. He tries to think of what Alfred would say, but it all feels empty and hollow. He knows Jason is lost, lonely, feeling broken- but that's how Bruce is feeling too, and he hasn't been able to help himself, so he's not sure how to help Jason. The only thing that ever really works to clear his head is going down into that cave, looking over his cases and going out into the night to protect his city.
The kitchen feels far too empty again, so he heads back down to the cave and opens up his files to continue working on them again. ]
[Jason hadn't unpacked much in his sleepless endeavors. A change of clothes is easily tucked back away. His eyes fall on his Robin suit, still slung over the tub in the bathroom. That, too, would need to be packed away, but for a different reason.
It takes about ten minutes before Jason is down in the cave, the case containing his suit practically burning through his palm. He sets it on one of Bruce's tables and then then bike keys on top of it.]
[ Bruce is already deep in his investigations again, marking the spots he can go to tonight for surveillance. The places he needs to place bugs remain in his head, though. He can remember all of this easily enough, even when he's tired.
He's surprised when Jason comes down to the cave- maybe he's had second thoughts about pulling away. If he's lucky, maybe Jason's here to join him.
The case with the Robin suit is placed on a table, along with bike keys- Bruce looks over at him.]
Are you getting ready to come out with me tonight?
[Jason hesitates. He knows he would love to go out on patrol with Bruce. He knows what it would be like to be out as Robin, belonging to a team. He taps the keys on the case, considering. Does he let himself have this moment or does he prevent himself from future heartbreak and turn in the suit for good.]
I was gonna leave the suit with you and go. [Tap, tap, tap.] But I think I'd rather be Robin, for at least one night.
[Not that he wants to guilt Jason into staying here, but he thinks that maybe, if not anything else, at least Robin will appeal to him, even if Bruce doesn't.
He slides the files over on the table, along with his notes.]
[ He asked Jason to rest several times. There's only so much he can do. Jason has to be responsible if he wants to be Robin. ]
Yes. But extremely under the radar. It's how they've been getting away with it all this time. Tonight we run surveillance. We plant bugs. I want to see and hear everything.
[He'll probably crash after the adrenaline of the night. For now, he's awake enough to get the job done. He browses through more of Bruce's notes before rubbing at his eyes.]
[Maybe Jason won't even be here anymore by the time it's time to engage, but- that's Jason's choice. All Bruce can do is keep showing that he wants him here. Maybe being down here like this, hidden away in his cave- it's the only place he can show it.]
Im going to keep combing through these files. There have been a couple other incidents I'd like to follow up on. If you wanna sit and read with me you can. We still have a good amount of time before nightfall.
You can try sleeping again as well- if you want to.
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They're good. But messy.
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[He knows that's not what Jason means, of course- but it's uncomfortable for both of them.]
We both had to eat at some point. Whether I'm worried about you or not.
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It felt like a good welcome home.
[He's quiet again for a moment, trying to build up the courage to talk about this. He can take on all of Gotham, but when it comes to talking about feeling or emotions- he's a mess.]
...Alfred used to do the same for me. When I had difficult days... and nights. It seemed ridiculous- how could food be comforting, but- once he was no longer here I understood.
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Don't know if it can be a bad day when every day is like this.
[Or at least with the Titans. There's a reason he left.]
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Has this been a bad day?
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[His hunger disappears and he nudges the other half of the chilidog over toward Bruce.]
Guess it's not all bad today.
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People are hard to work with. To be around.
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[He isn't going to argue that. Not even a little bit.]
But if I fall into that category? Then what?
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Then I guess I'd leave.
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I see.
[He picks at the bandage around his hand, wondering if it would be too strange if he went back down to the cave. And then he wonders why it even matters if it's strange. He might not be able to maintain what he's trying hard to achieve right now, and he'll inevitably fail. He doesn't know how to be what Jason needs, especially in this state of mind.]
So you've already forgotten what we spoke about earlier.
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[He gets up from his seat, taking his lemonade with him.]
I spent more time on the streets than with you, Bruce. I don't know what else to say.
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[So much for talking, for trying to hash things out, for opening up. Jason's pulling away, telling him he'll run away, and Bruce doesn't know if his words earlier had sunk in at all.]
Just know that I'm not the one pushing you away. If you want to leave, that's your decision. I already told you, I don't know if I can be better than this.
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Then I'll fucking leave now and put you out of your trouble.
[And then muttering,] 'I got you' my fucking ass.
[Before he storms off toward his room.]
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He wishes Alfred were here. He'd know what to say, what to do. He'd be able to help Jason. To take care of him.
He leans his hands against the counter and bows his head, squeezing his eyes shut. He tries to think of what Alfred would say, but it all feels empty and hollow. He knows Jason is lost, lonely, feeling broken- but that's how Bruce is feeling too, and he hasn't been able to help himself, so he's not sure how to help Jason. The only thing that ever really works to clear his head is going down into that cave, looking over his cases and going out into the night to protect his city.
The kitchen feels far too empty again, so he heads back down to the cave and opens up his files to continue working on them again. ]
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It takes about ten minutes before Jason is down in the cave, the case containing his suit practically burning through his palm. He sets it on one of Bruce's tables and then then bike keys on top of it.]
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He's surprised when Jason comes down to the cave- maybe he's had second thoughts about pulling away. If he's lucky, maybe Jason's here to join him.
The case with the Robin suit is placed on a table, along with bike keys- Bruce looks over at him.]
Are you getting ready to come out with me tonight?
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I was gonna leave the suit with you and go. [Tap, tap, tap.] But I think I'd rather be Robin, for at least one night.
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[Not that he wants to guilt Jason into staying here, but he thinks that maybe, if not anything else, at least Robin will appeal to him, even if Bruce doesn't.
He slides the files over on the table, along with his notes.]
Read through these.
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He steps forward to browse through the files, taking in Bruce's notes.]
A gang war?
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Yes. But extremely under the radar. It's how they've been getting away with it all this time. Tonight we run surveillance. We plant bugs. I want to see and hear everything.
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Got it. Plant bugs. Start surveillance.
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[Maybe Jason won't even be here anymore by the time it's time to engage, but- that's Jason's choice. All Bruce can do is keep showing that he wants him here. Maybe being down here like this, hidden away in his cave- it's the only place he can show it.]
Im going to keep combing through these files. There have been a couple other incidents I'd like to follow up on. If you wanna sit and read with me you can. We still have a good amount of time before nightfall.
You can try sleeping again as well- if you want to.
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sorry for the delay, life got craazy! D:
hope things have gotten better!
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