[Grocery shopping? The two of them? Jason frowns up at Bruce as he imagines the two of them in costume, going down the aisles of Walmart to get supplies.
At the mention of not sleeping, Jason bites the inside of his lip. He tries to think of a lie, but Bruce has already proved he's gotten better at reading Jason.]
[Jason is about to mention something about vegetables when Bruce brings up the letter. Jason knew Bruce would eventually read it, especially after Jason let him keep it. It's still weird sitting with the thought that Bruce now knows almost everything about San Francisco: how Jason didn't get along, his kidnapping, his near-fatal fall, the roof, the nightmares, the breakup, and leaving the Titans.]
Oh. Yeah.
[Jason fidgets with his sleeves where he leans on the counter.]
[ Bruce says as he places his hands on the marble counter. He isn't sure how to say this the right way, but he knows he needs to at least try. ]
I thought... sending you off with Dick would be good for you. That it would help. And then Alfred.... and I thought I knew for certain that it was better for you there, because I- could barely manage myself after that. But I was wrong, and you should've stayed here with me.
[Jason picks at his sleeves before looking back down at the counter. He knows Bruce already apologized, but Jason seeks to place blame, to spread it to anyone but himself.]
Sorry. [It's not really a full apology, but it's something to buffer a true response.] I...
[Jason's not the one who did the wrong thing here. He's not the one who pushed away because he couldn't handle things- that was Bruce, and this was the result of it.
Alfred would be so disappointed in him.
But he already said what he needed to say, what he should have said before. He tried to bridge the gap with his words, with his connections, but it seems like Jason needs more time. At least Jason now knows how he feels.]
I don't know if I can do any better, though. I'm not exactly...
[He trails off, because out of all the things he just poured out to Jason, admitting that he's a mess feels impossible to do.]
You don't have to do better, just. [Jason pauses, still looking down at the counter.] Just don't push me away.
[For all of Jason's bravado, all his pomp and circumstance, if Bruce pushes him away now, he's not sure what he would do. Maybe leave Gotham for good, go on the run until he found someone somewhere that wanted him.]
[ Bruce looks down, pulling his hands back from the counter and crosses them over his chest. This is the hardest part. Not just the pushing, but the pulling away as well. ]
I want you here, Jason. I hope you can remember that, even if I- don't know how to show it.
[I want you here, Jason. How long has it been since Jason felt sincerely wanted? Since before the Titans at least, before he fell off that building, before he and Dick spoke on the roof.]
I think I can do that.
[He memorizes the sound of it: I want you here, Jason. It’s not Robin, not anything but him as he is.]
[It feels like a deal has been made, a truce has been met- but more than that, it feels like there's an understanding between them now and Bruce hopes it lasts. He hopes they can both carry out their end. His, more than Jason's. He's still the adult here, grief and all.
Luckily just then, his phone buzzes and he unfolds his arms, checking it.]
Food is here. I'll go grab it. Pull out some plates.
[He looks at Jason a moment longer, then heads off to grab their food from the Manor gates, shoving his sunglasses on.]
[It's at least a truce. Bruce has stated his intentions and Jason his. Before he can say anything else, Bruce's phone buzzes and Jason takes that as a sign to let things rest for now.
He nods to Bruce before setting out plates for the two of them at the dining table. It's weirdly formal, but Jason doesn't set the plates at either end, instead keeping Bruce at the head of the table and Jason next to him. Utensils follow and then napkins.]
What do we got?
[If Jason's honest, he could do with a nap instead of eating, but for now he's upright and that's what he's focused on.]
[ It takes Bruce a few minutes, but then he's back again, a few large paper bags in his hands. He wasn't expecting the dining room table either, just at the same spots on the counter they were just at, but- it's it's alright. It's just been a while since he's sat here.
Not since Alfred died. ]
A variety of chili dogs- probably enough for two meals. Bread separate so it doesn't get soggy. Fries, and...basil lemonade.
[Because Alfred used to get that all the time. Jason probably knows that as well.]
[Bruce really is speaking Jason's language here, all the way down to the basil lemonade. He might carboload and then take a nap, but right now he plans to enjoy every bite.]
[ He pulls it all out of the bags and sets it down between them. It doesn't have to be two meals if Jason wants to eat it all right now. They don't need to ration anything.
He waits for Jason to dig into what he wants first before taking his own, putting it on his plate. He's quiet as they eat, but it doesn't feel uncomfortable. It's nice to be sitting here eating with someone again.
He glances over at Jason from time to time, making sure he's enjoying his chili dogs. Eventually he dos speak up.]
[Jason is about to eat just about everything in the bag. He hasn't eaten anything since he left San Francisco and that's a twenty-plus hour drive on a motorcycle. The first chili dog is washed down with the basil lemonade and the second follows the first. He pauses at the option of a third, hand hesitating before looking over at Bruce.]
[ When Jason eyes the rest of the chili dogs with hesitation, Bruce reaches out and pushes the container toward him. Have as many as you want, Jason. ]
Real good. [When the container is pushed toward him, Jason digs in and starts into his third chili dog.] Thanks for getting them. This isn't 'cause of anything in the letter, right?
[ He grabs a napkin to wipe at his fingers before lifting his drink to take a sip. He's only stalling a little bit. ]
It felt like a good welcome home.
[He's quiet again for a moment, trying to build up the courage to talk about this. He can take on all of Gotham, but when it comes to talking about feeling or emotions- he's a mess.]
...Alfred used to do the same for me. When I had difficult days... and nights. It seemed ridiculous- how could food be comforting, but- once he was no longer here I understood.
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[Grocery shopping? The two of them? Jason frowns up at Bruce as he imagines the two of them in costume, going down the aisles of Walmart to get supplies.
At the mention of not sleeping, Jason bites the inside of his lip. He tries to think of a lie, but Bruce has already proved he's gotten better at reading Jason.]
I don't really sleep much any more.
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[Alfred would be disappointed in him, Bruce knows that much. Eventually he'll have to remedy this.
As for Jason not sleeping much anymore... he wanted to let him know that they have something in common ]
I know you don't. I read the letter.
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Oh. Yeah.
[Jason fidgets with his sleeves where he leans on the counter.]
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[ Bruce says as he places his hands on the marble counter. He isn't sure how to say this the right way, but he knows he needs to at least try. ]
I thought... sending you off with Dick would be good for you. That it would help. And then Alfred.... and I thought I knew for certain that it was better for you there, because I- could barely manage myself after that. But I was wrong, and you should've stayed here with me.
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Well, it wasn't better for me. It was a whole lot worse.
[And maybe it's Jason's personality, but maybe he just doesn't do well at group work.]
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...That's why I said it was a mistake.
[He's not sure how else to put it, how else to apologize. Maybe Jason just doesn't want to hear it. That would make sense too.]
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Sorry. [It's not really a full apology, but it's something to buffer a true response.] I...
[Jason blows out a breath and shakes his head.]
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[Jason's not the one who did the wrong thing here. He's not the one who pushed away because he couldn't handle things- that was Bruce, and this was the result of it.
Alfred would be so disappointed in him.
But he already said what he needed to say, what he should have said before. He tried to bridge the gap with his words, with his connections, but it seems like Jason needs more time. At least Jason now knows how he feels.]
I don't know if I can do any better, though. I'm not exactly...
[He trails off, because out of all the things he just poured out to Jason, admitting that he's a mess feels impossible to do.]
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[For all of Jason's bravado, all his pomp and circumstance, if Bruce pushes him away now, he's not sure what he would do. Maybe leave Gotham for good, go on the run until he found someone somewhere that wanted him.]
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I want you here, Jason. I hope you can remember that, even if I- don't know how to show it.
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I think I can do that.
[He memorizes the sound of it: I want you here, Jason. It’s not Robin, not anything but him as he is.]
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[It feels like a deal has been made, a truce has been met- but more than that, it feels like there's an understanding between them now and Bruce hopes it lasts. He hopes they can both carry out their end. His, more than Jason's. He's still the adult here, grief and all.
Luckily just then, his phone buzzes and he unfolds his arms, checking it.]
Food is here. I'll go grab it. Pull out some plates.
[He looks at Jason a moment longer, then heads off to grab their food from the Manor gates, shoving his sunglasses on.]
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He nods to Bruce before setting out plates for the two of them at the dining table. It's weirdly formal, but Jason doesn't set the plates at either end, instead keeping Bruce at the head of the table and Jason next to him. Utensils follow and then napkins.]
What do we got?
[If Jason's honest, he could do with a nap instead of eating, but for now he's upright and that's what he's focused on.]
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Not since Alfred died. ]
A variety of chili dogs- probably enough for two meals. Bread separate so it doesn't get soggy. Fries, and...basil lemonade.
[Because Alfred used to get that all the time. Jason probably knows that as well.]
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Sounds awesome. Let's eat.
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He waits for Jason to dig into what he wants first before taking his own, putting it on his plate. He's quiet as they eat, but it doesn't feel uncomfortable. It's nice to be sitting here eating with someone again.
He glances over at Jason from time to time, making sure he's enjoying his chili dogs. Eventually he dos speak up.]
I never had these before you came along.
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You were missing out. These are the fucking bomb.
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They're good. But messy.
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[He knows that's not what Jason means, of course- but it's uncomfortable for both of them.]
We both had to eat at some point. Whether I'm worried about you or not.
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It felt like a good welcome home.
[He's quiet again for a moment, trying to build up the courage to talk about this. He can take on all of Gotham, but when it comes to talking about feeling or emotions- he's a mess.]
...Alfred used to do the same for me. When I had difficult days... and nights. It seemed ridiculous- how could food be comforting, but- once he was no longer here I understood.
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Don't know if it can be a bad day when every day is like this.
[Or at least with the Titans. There's a reason he left.]
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Has this been a bad day?
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[His hunger disappears and he nudges the other half of the chilidog over toward Bruce.]
Guess it's not all bad today.
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sorry for the delay, life got craazy! D:
hope things have gotten better!
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